Why are teenagers so sarcastic?
Why do hipsters seek irony in all they do?
I think it ultimately has to do with control. By being blase about something, you don't care for it, you're not subject to it.
For instance, a teenager who is too cool for school. He doesn't want to subject himself to the control and discipline of an academic environment. He doesn't like it that his teacher and parents are telling him what to do, how to do it, at all times of the day. In order to reassert control over his life, he delegitimizes the values of this environment and creates or adopts a substitute set of values and lives and acts accordingly.
That's why the best way to get a kid studying is to somehow get him to internally adopt the values of the authority structure and let him motivate himself.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
reality is overrated
What is the number one leisure activity among Americans? It's not eating, drinking alcohol, or taking drugs. It is not socializing with friends, participating in sports, or relaxing with family. People usually describe sex as their most pleasurable act, but surveys have shown that the average American devotes just four minutes per day to sex—almost exactly the same time spent filling out tax forms for the government.
Our main leisure activity is, by a long shot, participating in experiences that we know are not real. When we are free to do whatever we want, we retreat to the imagination—to worlds created by others--with books, movies, games, myth, religion.
Why? Well the obvious reason is that reality sucks. Life sucks. You work 40 hours a week at a job you hate, you get nagged constantly by your aging wife, your kids don't appreciate the back-breaking work you do to put food on the table, and your health and looks are going down the drain day by day. Although you live in the richest and most prosperous country the world has ever seen, with all the conveniences of modern technology, many of us at our first opportunity run away from reality and flock straight toward our televisions, our books, our computers, and our Playstations.
As technology continues to advance and its virtual and unreal worlds become better and more real, this trend will continue on. I foresee a Matrix-like existence for many of us in the near future.
Why? Well the obvious reason is that reality sucks. Life sucks. You work 40 hours a week at a job you hate, you get nagged constantly by your aging wife, your kids don't appreciate the back-breaking work you do to put food on the table, and your health and looks are going down the drain day by day. Although you live in the richest and most prosperous country the world has ever seen, with all the conveniences of modern technology, many of us at our first opportunity run away from reality and flock straight toward our televisions, our books, our computers, and our Playstations.
As technology continues to advance and its virtual and unreal worlds become better and more real, this trend will continue on. I foresee a Matrix-like existence for many of us in the near future.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
New York City
What is all this hype about New York City? Everyone I know either wants to live there or visit there. Even I was susceptible to this hype as I was considering moving there. Let's go over the pros and cons:
Pros:
1. Financial, media, and cultural capital of the United States.
2. World-class restaurants, cultural attractions, shopping, and nightlife.
3. Don't need car.
4. Smart people.
Cons:
1. Expensive (food, housing, everything).
2. Public transportation.
3. Dirty, loud, congested.
4. Extreme weather; hot and humid in summer; freaking freezing in the winter.
5. Workaholic and status-obsessed culture.
6. Ethnic food better in LA (Asian and Mexican)
Now just from the looks of it, looks like there are more cons than pros. Also the pros really don't seem like pros. You can find world-class restaurants and shopping in Los Angeles. Not needing a car may be a pro, but it's not really because in NYC, you can't have a car. It's not a choice and for a LA-native like me, the thought of carrying my groceries home rather than putting them in a car and driving home is not my idea of fun. NYC definitely has world-class cultural institutions like the MET, MOMA, Lincoln Center, Met Opera, and so on, but really for 90 percent of the population, how often would they go to these places? And better yet, how many of these people actually care about classical music, fine art, and opera? I think a lot of these cultural activities are done primarily to signal status to one's self and to others, more than an actual appreciation and understanding of these things. I think if you're filthy rich, yes New York City is a great place to be, but if you're not, then you're just in la-la aspirational land.
Let's see what pros and cons LA has:
Pros:
1. Weather
2. Best ethnic food.
3. Relatively cheaper cost of living
4. Suburban lifestyle.
5. Korean nightlife and dating scene.
Cons:
1. Traffic
2. Not too many smart people
3. Image-conscious culture
Wow, pretty stark difference there. First, traffic is only bad during rush hour so I would suggest living close to your workplace if possible. Or go to the gym after work and then commute home when traffic has died down. Presto! Problem solved. The lack of smart people I thought was a big deal when I felt that I could learn a great deal from other people but one day I realized most "smart" people are not really smart but just studious and hardworking. Clarification: my definition of smart is not the traditional one and smart for me means intellectual curiosity.
But what I think the most important factor in why NYC will continue its downwardly decline in my eyes is the Internet. In fact, the appeal of living in a high-cost overly competitive city like LA too will also go down. Why? Because the Internet gives you access to a lot of the things that once, only cities like NYC and LA were able to offer: access to smart people, shopping, cultural commodities, etc.
I lived in Orlando for several months and because I had access to the Internet, I was able to get the books I wanted to read, talk to the people I wanted to talk to, listen to the music I wanted to listen to, and enjoy many of the things I am used to in a large city like Los Angeles. The only things missing were my friends and the nightlife scene--and of course great ethnic food. But as I get older and get married, these things will become less important. Also because cost of living is so much cheaper in a smaller town like Orlando, one doesn't have to work as hard. Things like spending time with your family and cooking at home, and having the time to read and enjoy your hobbies are much easier with a more chill job.
Anyway back to the original topic--so I decided that NYC is out of the picture for me. In fact, I think when I apply to business school, I'm just going to apply to places in California.
Pros:
1. Financial, media, and cultural capital of the United States.
2. World-class restaurants, cultural attractions, shopping, and nightlife.
3. Don't need car.
4. Smart people.
Cons:
1. Expensive (food, housing, everything).
2. Public transportation.
3. Dirty, loud, congested.
4. Extreme weather; hot and humid in summer; freaking freezing in the winter.
5. Workaholic and status-obsessed culture.
6. Ethnic food better in LA (Asian and Mexican)
Now just from the looks of it, looks like there are more cons than pros. Also the pros really don't seem like pros. You can find world-class restaurants and shopping in Los Angeles. Not needing a car may be a pro, but it's not really because in NYC, you can't have a car. It's not a choice and for a LA-native like me, the thought of carrying my groceries home rather than putting them in a car and driving home is not my idea of fun. NYC definitely has world-class cultural institutions like the MET, MOMA, Lincoln Center, Met Opera, and so on, but really for 90 percent of the population, how often would they go to these places? And better yet, how many of these people actually care about classical music, fine art, and opera? I think a lot of these cultural activities are done primarily to signal status to one's self and to others, more than an actual appreciation and understanding of these things. I think if you're filthy rich, yes New York City is a great place to be, but if you're not, then you're just in la-la aspirational land.
Let's see what pros and cons LA has:
Pros:
1. Weather
2. Best ethnic food.
3. Relatively cheaper cost of living
4. Suburban lifestyle.
5. Korean nightlife and dating scene.
Cons:
1. Traffic
2. Not too many smart people
3. Image-conscious culture
Wow, pretty stark difference there. First, traffic is only bad during rush hour so I would suggest living close to your workplace if possible. Or go to the gym after work and then commute home when traffic has died down. Presto! Problem solved. The lack of smart people I thought was a big deal when I felt that I could learn a great deal from other people but one day I realized most "smart" people are not really smart but just studious and hardworking. Clarification: my definition of smart is not the traditional one and smart for me means intellectual curiosity.
But what I think the most important factor in why NYC will continue its downwardly decline in my eyes is the Internet. In fact, the appeal of living in a high-cost overly competitive city like LA too will also go down. Why? Because the Internet gives you access to a lot of the things that once, only cities like NYC and LA were able to offer: access to smart people, shopping, cultural commodities, etc.
I lived in Orlando for several months and because I had access to the Internet, I was able to get the books I wanted to read, talk to the people I wanted to talk to, listen to the music I wanted to listen to, and enjoy many of the things I am used to in a large city like Los Angeles. The only things missing were my friends and the nightlife scene--and of course great ethnic food. But as I get older and get married, these things will become less important. Also because cost of living is so much cheaper in a smaller town like Orlando, one doesn't have to work as hard. Things like spending time with your family and cooking at home, and having the time to read and enjoy your hobbies are much easier with a more chill job.
Anyway back to the original topic--so I decided that NYC is out of the picture for me. In fact, I think when I apply to business school, I'm just going to apply to places in California.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
what matters to guys
I read somewhere that two things ultimately matter to a guy in his marriage: the number of times he gets obligation-free sex and the amount of criticism he doesn't get. That make total sense to me. I love sex and I hate nagging. I hate nagging so much though that I actually prefer being single than being in a relationship. It's getting worse too. As I get older and the girls I date get older, there is an additional factor that makes a relationship even less palpable : the pressure to get married. Ugh.
people are like stocks
I have a burgeoning theory regarding relationships. We humans, we're stocks. Let me explain. Each of us has a stock price, determined by the market/public. This stock price changes over time. Usually, guys' stock prices increase over time, girls vice versa. This is usually because the things women value in men tend to increase over time--namely wealth. And the things men value in women tend to decrease over time--namely their beauty. But a nine women will most likely never go down to a five and a two man go up to be a nine man. Pretty simple right?
I think using this framework can make the thorny issue of relationships much easier to understand. There is a saying about families: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Tolstoy bitches! I think this quote is wrong. I think generally relationships are not working for one reason. One partner has a skewed view of his or her stock price and has failed to realize it. Let's say, three years ago, a 4 man got lucky and married a 6 woman--and the woman knew it. But one day, this 4 man hit the jackpot and won a million dollars. Instantly his stock price went up to 9. But in the mind of the 6 woman, he was still a 4 and treated him accordingly. Over time, the 9 man starts to realize his value has increased. Also, he starts to see that his wife has some new wrinkles and has gained a bit of weight. What is going on here is what the finance guys call, "multiple compression or valuation compression." The market is processing new information and revaluing a stock accordingly. As this process occurs in the mind of the man, he starts not wanting to help his wife with the dishes or throwing out the trash. Instead of spending time thinking of romantic gifts to give to his wife, he starts spending more time with ESPN and YouPorn. His wife starts to feel this. She feels unloved and uncherished. She then does what any woman will do in this situation and starts nagging. "How come you don't help with the dishes anymore? You don't care about me! Tell me you care about me!" Or in market terms: "Look buddy! You're a 4 and I'm a 6. You're not treating me properly. Do the dishes bitch!" What she has failed to realize is that the once 4 man is now a 9 and she is still a 6 at best, probably a 5 now. Hello affair. Bye marriage.
I think using this framework can make the thorny issue of relationships much easier to understand. There is a saying about families: "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Tolstoy bitches! I think this quote is wrong. I think generally relationships are not working for one reason. One partner has a skewed view of his or her stock price and has failed to realize it. Let's say, three years ago, a 4 man got lucky and married a 6 woman--and the woman knew it. But one day, this 4 man hit the jackpot and won a million dollars. Instantly his stock price went up to 9. But in the mind of the 6 woman, he was still a 4 and treated him accordingly. Over time, the 9 man starts to realize his value has increased. Also, he starts to see that his wife has some new wrinkles and has gained a bit of weight. What is going on here is what the finance guys call, "multiple compression or valuation compression." The market is processing new information and revaluing a stock accordingly. As this process occurs in the mind of the man, he starts not wanting to help his wife with the dishes or throwing out the trash. Instead of spending time thinking of romantic gifts to give to his wife, he starts spending more time with ESPN and YouPorn. His wife starts to feel this. She feels unloved and uncherished. She then does what any woman will do in this situation and starts nagging. "How come you don't help with the dishes anymore? You don't care about me! Tell me you care about me!" Or in market terms: "Look buddy! You're a 4 and I'm a 6. You're not treating me properly. Do the dishes bitch!" What she has failed to realize is that the once 4 man is now a 9 and she is still a 6 at best, probably a 5 now. Hello affair. Bye marriage.
truth is overrated
I did a lot of reading over this past year and I sort of came to a conclusion: we humans do things primarily because it feels good. This is more profound than it sounds. Let me explain.
I have a theory that a lot of what we do is to signal status and ultimately to feel good about ourselves. Why? Because we evolved over millions of years to seek social status. Those species that enjoyed signaling status where the ones that won mates and reproduced. The species that didn't enjoy brandishing themselves and attracting mates in the process, never got laid and had kids. They went extinct.
What we do, what we buy, how we dress--status, status, status. We pursue status because it feels good on a biological and psychological level. And often we don't even need other people to signal status to--often we are signaling to ourselves, telling ourselves a story we want to hear. "We're smart. We're successful. We're accomplished."
Right now in our modern capitalistic society, status is often correlated with cool and cool is ultimately about distinguishing yourself from other people. Look at how cool I am. How much better I am than you. Status. It's about creating a new hierarchy based on some obscure metric and placing yourself on the top of that hierarchy. That's why cool comes in so many different forms: the hipster, the religious zealot, the gangster, the supermom, the organic hippie, the rich banker, the startup entrepreneur, the yuppie, whatever. It's all about promoting your type of cool, your type of status and saying you're better than other people because of it. Take ghetto cool for example. You live in third-world conditions. You intentionally wear pants too big so they sag and people can see your underwear. You proclaim your lack of education as a bragging right. In a world where the world tells you that you're poor, uneducated, and not going places, you affirm yourself by brandishing those liabilities as your assets. Keeping it real they say. More like keeping real stupid.
So when it comes to making ourselves feel good, something like intelligence or reality shouldn't stand in the way. Which leads me to my next subject, religion. We humans, we're really good at coming up with inventions and innovations to meet our needs and desires. Food cold? We discovered fire. Want to get around faster? We invented cars. Want to tell time? We invented clocks. You get the point. But let's not stop there. We've have even invented things that are technically not possible--like immortality. We all know that immortality is not possible. It would be nice but hey, you don't always get what you want in life. Does that stop humans though? No. Many of us, in fact, most of us, are convinced that we have a life beyond death. That some part of us, usually a soul, will continue on, long after our physical bodies die. We have essentially created immortality through belief. Is there any proof for any of the many religions that we have on this planet? No, but that doesn't stop billions of people from believing. Faith apparently makes it true. Because it would suck if our pathetic lives just ended when we die and we can't have that, can we?
So status feels good because we like feeling like we're better than other people. Religion feels good because it tells us that we're better than those evil unbelievers and those greedy bankers who make 100 times more than we do. It also feels good because it tells us that even though our current life sucks, when we die and go to heaven, it'll be like Hometown Buffet for eternity, with all your favorite friends and family as your company. Add ninety virgins if that's your thing too.
That's why I'm in a real shitty position. Damn, I wish I could believe. Who doesn't want to live forever and have ninety virgins? "God, please give me the faith to believe in you," I always pray before I go to bed. God must not be listening because apparently he hasn't gotten my message yet. Maybe God isn't a He but a She? That would make more sense. She's ignoring me.
I have a theory that a lot of what we do is to signal status and ultimately to feel good about ourselves. Why? Because we evolved over millions of years to seek social status. Those species that enjoyed signaling status where the ones that won mates and reproduced. The species that didn't enjoy brandishing themselves and attracting mates in the process, never got laid and had kids. They went extinct.
What we do, what we buy, how we dress--status, status, status. We pursue status because it feels good on a biological and psychological level. And often we don't even need other people to signal status to--often we are signaling to ourselves, telling ourselves a story we want to hear. "We're smart. We're successful. We're accomplished."
Right now in our modern capitalistic society, status is often correlated with cool and cool is ultimately about distinguishing yourself from other people. Look at how cool I am. How much better I am than you. Status. It's about creating a new hierarchy based on some obscure metric and placing yourself on the top of that hierarchy. That's why cool comes in so many different forms: the hipster, the religious zealot, the gangster, the supermom, the organic hippie, the rich banker, the startup entrepreneur, the yuppie, whatever. It's all about promoting your type of cool, your type of status and saying you're better than other people because of it. Take ghetto cool for example. You live in third-world conditions. You intentionally wear pants too big so they sag and people can see your underwear. You proclaim your lack of education as a bragging right. In a world where the world tells you that you're poor, uneducated, and not going places, you affirm yourself by brandishing those liabilities as your assets. Keeping it real they say. More like keeping real stupid.
So when it comes to making ourselves feel good, something like intelligence or reality shouldn't stand in the way. Which leads me to my next subject, religion. We humans, we're really good at coming up with inventions and innovations to meet our needs and desires. Food cold? We discovered fire. Want to get around faster? We invented cars. Want to tell time? We invented clocks. You get the point. But let's not stop there. We've have even invented things that are technically not possible--like immortality. We all know that immortality is not possible. It would be nice but hey, you don't always get what you want in life. Does that stop humans though? No. Many of us, in fact, most of us, are convinced that we have a life beyond death. That some part of us, usually a soul, will continue on, long after our physical bodies die. We have essentially created immortality through belief. Is there any proof for any of the many religions that we have on this planet? No, but that doesn't stop billions of people from believing. Faith apparently makes it true. Because it would suck if our pathetic lives just ended when we die and we can't have that, can we?
So status feels good because we like feeling like we're better than other people. Religion feels good because it tells us that we're better than those evil unbelievers and those greedy bankers who make 100 times more than we do. It also feels good because it tells us that even though our current life sucks, when we die and go to heaven, it'll be like Hometown Buffet for eternity, with all your favorite friends and family as your company. Add ninety virgins if that's your thing too.
That's why I'm in a real shitty position. Damn, I wish I could believe. Who doesn't want to live forever and have ninety virgins? "God, please give me the faith to believe in you," I always pray before I go to bed. God must not be listening because apparently he hasn't gotten my message yet. Maybe God isn't a He but a She? That would make more sense. She's ignoring me.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Spectator Sports
What is it with people and their spectator sports? Basketball, Football, Baseball, Soccer, Golf, and so on. Why the obsession? I would think that after a hard week of work, one would want to do something besides sit in front of a television and watch a group of african-americans throwing around a ball and getting hit for two hours. What's the point? Your life won't change if the Trojans win or lose. So what's all the fuss?
I used to think like this until I discovered this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we2JJ3bY9iE
It's a Starcraft 2 Replay with Commentary
I don't play Starcraft 2. I used to play Starcraft 1 but I realized long ago, I didn't have the time or the patience to play enough to become good enough to beat other people. And I hate losing. When I discovered these casts on youtube, I discovered that I could still enjoy Starcraft 2 but without taking the time to actually practice and play.
I have no stake in the competitors I watch in these casts. If they win or lose, it doesn't affect me, but I still watch them. Why? The display of skill of the players and the resourcefulness of their strategies and gameplay. The ability to feel victory vicariously through a win of theirs. And sometimes, just because I'm bored and have nothing else to do.
I think this is why other people watch spectator sports. They probably played basketball and football when there were kids but now that they're old and working, they don't have the time and the energy to play anymore. Through ESPN and NFL, they can play vicariously, and experience the highs and lows along with the professional athletes.
Now it makes more sense, but still I don't care much for spectator sports. It's passive entertainment and I think there are better ways of using one's precious leisure time. But hey, it's your life and you can live it the way you want. I just don't understand why EVERYONE seems to watch it and I get flack for not wanting to join in on this collective ritual.
I used to think like this until I discovered this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we2JJ3bY9iE
It's a Starcraft 2 Replay with Commentary
I don't play Starcraft 2. I used to play Starcraft 1 but I realized long ago, I didn't have the time or the patience to play enough to become good enough to beat other people. And I hate losing. When I discovered these casts on youtube, I discovered that I could still enjoy Starcraft 2 but without taking the time to actually practice and play.
I have no stake in the competitors I watch in these casts. If they win or lose, it doesn't affect me, but I still watch them. Why? The display of skill of the players and the resourcefulness of their strategies and gameplay. The ability to feel victory vicariously through a win of theirs. And sometimes, just because I'm bored and have nothing else to do.
I think this is why other people watch spectator sports. They probably played basketball and football when there were kids but now that they're old and working, they don't have the time and the energy to play anymore. Through ESPN and NFL, they can play vicariously, and experience the highs and lows along with the professional athletes.
Now it makes more sense, but still I don't care much for spectator sports. It's passive entertainment and I think there are better ways of using one's precious leisure time. But hey, it's your life and you can live it the way you want. I just don't understand why EVERYONE seems to watch it and I get flack for not wanting to join in on this collective ritual.
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